41 Things Mom Told You That Aren’t True

Sometimes in order to get kids to do things, eat things or tell the truth … parents have to get a little creative. We tell kids things like “don’t swallow bubble gum or it will stay in your body for 7 whole years!” And “you better behave or Santa will bring you coal!” Parents are allowed to tell their kids little white lies every now and then, right? Of course we are! Because we are the parents and we make the rules!

Do as I say, not as I do!

Now that I have recently become a mom to a beautiful little girl, I found myself reminiscing about my childhood and about all the crazy lies that my mother told me in order to behave and eat my vegetables while growing up. Then, I wondered if anyone else’s parents told them crazy lies, too. So, I asked a ton of mothers in a Facebook group that I am in and the response was overwhelming and very entertaining to read. So, I’m here to share with you, the lies their mothers told them. Hopefully they make you laugh as much as I did.

41 Lies Moms have Told Their Kids

The Classics

If you step on a crack, you’ll break your mother’s back

Its illegal to drive with the light on in the car

Don’t go outside with wet hair or you’ll get sick

If you make a funny face, it will get stuck that way forever

If you roll your eyes at me, they’ll get stuck back there

If you cross your eyes, they’ll get stuck that way

There’s a chemical in the pool that turns your pee bright red

You have to wait 30 minutes after eating to swim or you’ll cramp up and drown

If a boy picks on you, it means that he likes you

If you’re mad on your birthday, you’ll be that way all year

Don’t touch frogs or you’ll get warts

The car won’t start unless everyone is buckled up

The lies about food

You better eat your crusts if you want curly hair

Don’t eat raw pasta unless you want worms

If the ice cream truck is playing music, it means he’s out of ice cream

Eat your carrots if you want night vision

If you drink coffee, it will stunt your growth

Drinking coffee puts hair on your chest

Eat your vegetables or you won’t grow big and tall

Don’t swallow bubble gum because it stays in your body for 7 years

Don’t swallow bubble gum or you’ll get fart bubbles

Don’t swallow a watermelon seed or it will grow inside of you

Chocolate milk comes from brown cows

tell a friend

You better behave…

If you lie, your ears will turn red

If you lie, a dot appears on your forehead that only mom can see

Moms have eyes in the back of their heads

You better behave because Mom has Santa’s phone number

If you’re awake when Santa comes, he won’t leave any presents

And here’s some more…

Thunder storms are God and His angels having a bowling night

If you crack your knuckles you will get arthritis

Every mouth gets 10,000 words and once you’ve hit your limit you won’t be able to talk anymore

Don’t stare at the microwave or you will burn your eyes

Don’t sit too close to the TV or you will go blind

You were brought by the stork

It’s illegal to knock on a door more than 3 times

The phone doesn’t work before 9am, so don’t wake up and call your friends at 7am

Don’t take a bath or talk on the phone during a thunderstorm (update: apparently this one is actually true!)

You’ll go blind if you kiss a boy

If you play with fire, you’ll wet the bed

If you sneeze with your eyes open, they’ll fall right out of your head

Don’t bite your finger nails or your fingers will fall off

Don't bite your finger nails or your fingers will fall off and 40 other lies Mom told you tell a friend

I hope you enjoyed reading this list of lies moms have told their kids as much as I enjoyed creating it. It’s always fun to think about crazy things from our childhood like this.

Are any of these new to you? Which ones are your favorite or bring back memories? Please let me know in the comment section below! Or you can leave a comment if you have any you’d like to add!

I hope you have a good day! 🙂

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